theregoesyourlifeagain

In the depths of your despair lies a voice. When it feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die.

hacheload:

thepottergeist:

madcenturion:

madcenturion:

If you think about it, the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is extremely satanic

no but seriously imagine it this way

a small gathering of people huddle around a object on fire, chanting ritualistically a repetitive song in unison until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object

you must be fun at parties

birthday parties

(Source: fowlls, via greysjustwhoiamthisweek)

There is a close link between insomnia and despair. The loss of hope comes with the loss of sleep. The difference between paradise and hell: you can always sleep in paradise, never in hell.

E. M. Cioran, On the Heights of Despair, trans. Ilinca Zarifopol-Johnston (via proustitute)

It happens once they say. Just once. Feels like nothing else. How does one know though? Breaking an arm for the first time feels like nothing else. Climbing a mountain for the first time feels like nothing else. Smoking your first drag. Having your period. They say its just different.There’s white noise everywhere now. Dust swivels up as you watch your hair go out of control. The unnatural wind smarting your eyes so, you think the dust is your biggest admirer. Which is why you frequent the beach. Wardrobe choices become important, but only just so because in a battle with yourself, you cannot win. Another first. Tears seem so perfunctory when the soul is slapped. Sadness not felt is another first. Heartache isn’t psychosomatic, not when breathing becomes a task. When secrets become fun; stealth suffers. When magnitude hits, you wish gravity worked overtime.They say love is different. It’s realizing the girl who could be your life, is straight.

It happens once they say. Just once. Feels like nothing else. How does one know though? Breaking an arm for the first time feels like nothing else. Climbing a mountain for the first time feels like nothing else. Smoking your first drag. Having your period. They say its just different.

There’s white noise everywhere now. Dust swivels up as you watch your hair go out of control. The unnatural wind smarting your eyes so, you think the dust is your biggest admirer. Which is why you frequent the beach. Wardrobe choices become important, but only just so because in a battle with yourself, you cannot win. Another first. Tears seem so perfunctory when the soul is slapped. Sadness not felt is another first. Heartache isn’t psychosomatic, not when breathing becomes a task. When secrets become fun; stealth suffers. When magnitude hits, you wish gravity worked overtime.

They say love is different. It’s realizing the girl who could be your life, is straight.

bowiesclockworkorange:

In June of 1972, a woman appeared in Cedar Senai hospitalin nothing but a white, blood-covered gown. Now this, in itself, should not be too surprising as people often have accidents nearby and come to the nearest hospital for medical attention, but there were one thing that caused people who saw her to vomit and flee in terror. Being that she wasn’t exactly human. she resembled something close to a mannequin, but had the dexterity and fluidity of a normal human being. Her face, was as flawless as a mannequins, devoid of eyebrows and smeared in make-up. From the moment she stepped through the entrance to when she was taken to a hospital room and cleaned up before being prepped for sedation, she was completely calm, expressionless and motionless. The doctors thought it best to restrain her until the authorities could arrive and she did not protest. They were unable to get any kind of response from her and most staff members felt too uncomfortable to look directly at her for more than a few seconds. But the second the staff tried to sedate her, she fought back with extreme force. Two members of staff had to hold her down as her body rose up on the bed with that same, blank expression. She turned her emotionless eyes towards the male doctor and did something unusual. She smiled. As she did, the female doctor screamed and let go out of shock. In the woman’s mouth were not human teeth, but long, sharp spikes. Too long for her mouth to close fully without causing any damage… The male doctor stared back at her for a moment before asking “What in the hell are you?” She cracked her neck down to her shoulder to observe him, still smiling. There was a long pause, the security had been alerted and could be heard coming down the hallway. She stood up and leaned over him, her face coming dangerously close to his as the life faded from his eyes. She leaned closer and whispered in his ear. “I…am….God….”
He went into shock and she quickly disappeared. The female doctor  named her “The Expressionless”. There was never a sighting of her again.

bowiesclockworkorange:

In June of 1972, a woman appeared in Cedar Senai hospitalin nothing but a white, blood-covered gown. Now this, in itself, should not be too surprising as people often have accidents nearby and come to the nearest hospital for medical attention, but there were one thing that caused people who saw her to vomit and flee in terror.
Being that she wasn’t exactly human. she resembled something close to a mannequin, but had the dexterity and fluidity of a normal human being. Her face, was as flawless as a mannequins, devoid of eyebrows and smeared in make-up.


From the moment she stepped through the entrance to when she was taken to a hospital room and cleaned up before being prepped for sedation, she was completely calm, expressionless and motionless. The doctors thought it best to restrain her until the authorities could arrive and she did not protest. They were unable to get any kind of response from her and most staff members felt too uncomfortable to look directly at her for more than a few seconds.

But the second the staff tried to sedate her, she fought back with extreme force. Two members of staff had to hold her down as her body rose up on the bed with that same, blank expression.

She turned her emotionless eyes towards the male doctor and did something unusual. She smiled.

As she did, the female doctor screamed and let go out of shock. In the woman’s mouth were not human teeth, but long, sharp spikes. Too long for her mouth to close fully without causing any damage…

The male doctor stared back at her for a moment before asking “What in the hell are you?”

She cracked her neck down to her shoulder to observe him, still smiling.

There was a long pause, the security had been alerted and could be heard coming down the hallway.

She stood up and leaned over him, her face coming dangerously close to his as the life faded from his eyes.

She leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

“I…am….God….”
He went into shock and she quickly disappeared.

The female doctor  named her “The Expressionless”.

There was never a sighting of her again.

(via recordsandcigarettes)

You come and see me among flowers and pictures, and think me mysterious, romantic, and all the rest of it. Being yourself very inexperience and very emotional, you go home and invent a story about me, and now you can’t separate me from the person you’ve imagined me to be. You call that, I suppose, being in love; as a matter of fact it’s being in delusion. All romantic people are the same,” she added. “My mother spends her life in making stories about the people she’s fond of. But I won’t have you do it about me, if I can help it.”
“You can’t help it,” he said.
“I ward you it’s the source of all evil.”
“And of all good,” he added.

Virginia Woolf, Night And Day (via fuckyeahvirginiawoolf)

(via violentwavesofemotion)

But, when nothing subsists of an old past, after the death of people, after the destruction of things, alone, frailer but more enduring, more immaterial, more persistent, more faithful, smell and taste still remain for a long time, like souls remembering, waiting, hoping, upon the ruins of all the rest, bearing without giving way, on their almost impalpable droplet, the immense edifice of memory.

Marcel Proust, Swann’s Way, trans. Lydia Davis (via awritersruminations)

(via proustitute)

we-are-star-stuff:

The greatest mysteries of the planets
Mercury
Mercury is notoriously difficult to study, thanks to its proximity to the scorching hot and blindingly bright sun. Thus, mysteries abound. For example, Mercury has a giant core - perhaps because its outer, lighter layers got brushed off by planetary collisions long ago, but scientists aren’t sure. It also has a magnetic field and an atmosphere, both of unknown origin. In fact, the little planet leaks a steady stream of atmospheric particles, suggesting its atmosphere is somehow constantly regenerated. The biggest boggler of all: Mercury’s highly elongated orbit is growing more oval-shaped all the time, and it could someday crash into Venus or the sun. Will its changing path (and resultant changing gravitational field) disrupt the orbits of Earth and the other inner planets, causing chaos?
Venus
Planetary scientists are still working out the details of how a once-earthlike Venus gradually morphed into the hellishly hot planet shrouded in a thick blanket of toxic gases we see today. But a bigger mystery regarding Earth’s “evil twin” is why the planet’s atmosphere swirls around it 60 times faster than the sphere spins itself; and speaking of Venus’ spin, no one knows why it goes counter-clockwise unlike all the other inner planets, such that the sun rises in the west and sets in the east.
The most intriguing open question of all: does Venus harbor life in its clouds? Some 30 miles up, there should be a habitable niche where pressure and temperature are earthlike. For energy, floating creatures resembling bacteria could thrive off the ample sunshine or chemicals in the atmosphere. 
Earth
You might think we’d have nailed down the major bullet points about our home planet’s structure and formation, but in fact, big zingers remain. We don’t know, for example, how all this water got here, and we’re uncertain about the nature of Earth’s core, which, strangely, transmits seismic waves faster in one direction than the other. Our beloved satellite has big bogglers, too. While most scientists think the moon formed from a chunk of Earth that got knocked off during an ancient impact, the theory has a hole: the theoretical impactor, dubbed Theia, should have left a residue with distinctive characteristics, but it has not been detected.
Mars
The Red Planet, now frigid, barren and seemingly deserted, spent its first 500 million or billion years as warm, wet and geologically dynamic. Scientists don’t know why it changed so drastically for the worse. They also wonder whether a more vibrant Mars once harbored life, and if it did, whether any bacteria-like Martian organisms managed to adapt to the harsher environs that took over, and are still eking out an existence there.
What’s more, scientists can’t fully explain the planet’s “hemispheric dichotomy.” Smooth, younger lightly cratered lowlands dominate the planet’s top half, while ancient, heavily cratered highlands characterize the southern hemisphere. As for how Mars’ two funky, lumpy moons got there, their size and shape suggests they originated as asteroids and were captured by the planet’s gravity; however, captured asteroids normally traverse elongated, oval orbits, while Phobos and Deimos follow circular paths around Mars.
Jupiter
Like a carefully dyed Easter egg, Jupiter is girded by lighter-hued bands called zones and darker bands called belts. But are these stripes merely surface features overlaying a uniform inner ball of gas, or are the zones and belts actually the tops of concentric cylinders that make up the planet? Whole stripes have been known to disappear without a trace; one vanished in May 2010 that was twice as wide as Earth; why? Other surface decors, such as the swirling vortex known as the Great Red Spot, are equally as mysterious: What power source drives their turbulent motion?
Furthermore, early in its history, this gas giant gobbled up great gobs of heavy elements, including more carbon, nitrogen and sulfur than are found in the sun. How did all that heavy stuff get in there, and is some of it compacted in a solid core deep below Jupiter’s surface? Scientists still don’t know, and are hoping to learn a thing or two when the Juno spacecraft flies past in 2016.
Saturn
For four centuries, astronomers have contemplated Saturn’s eye-popping rings, but none of their attempts to explain the beautiful features have ever seemed quite right. The rings could have formed from the icy remnants of a bygone moon, or from a passing comet torn to shreds by the planet’s gravity; they could be relatively young at just a few hundred million years old, or they might date back to the birth of Saturn more than four billion years ago. We just don’t know. We’re also yet to nail down the dynamics of giant storms and jet streams on the ringed planet’s surface, as well as the dynamics of its rotation. Three different spacecraft have attempted to measure the length of Saturn’s day by detecting its natural radio emissions as they soared past; all three have turned up different measurements.
Uranus
Planets are expected to radiate heat leftover inside them from their fiery formation process, but puzzlingly, Uranus radiates little or no heat into space. Perhaps the seventh planet’s heat got unleashed during some cosmic smash-up in the distant past. That collision could also have caused the planet’s strange sideways spin. Or maybe Uranus somehow self-insulates, keeping all its heat trapped inside.
Uranus also drags around with it the craggiest astronomical object known to man - a satellite called Miranda. This strange moon has deep canyons, scrapes, terraced layers and a cliff some 12.4 miles (20 kilometers) deep – the deepest in the solar system. Miranda’s geological mess may have formed from flowing ices in the moon’s interior, perhaps heated by gravitational squeezing from Uranus and other moons, oozing out onto the surface. Or, perhaps the moon was shattered several times and came back together, creating its jagged and mottled features.
Neptune
Astronomers had expected Neptune to be a weatherless, featureless world in deep freeze. Instead, Voyager 2’s flyby in 1989 - the only close look we’ve ever gotten of this 3-billion-mile-away planet - revealed a turbulent atmosphere with lighter cloud ripples and raging storms. Surprisingly, the fastest winds ever recorded in the solar system whirl on Neptune, up around 1,300 miles (about 2,100 kilometers) per hour. Driving this activity appears to be Neptune’s internal heat, but as the farthest planet from the sun (farthest, that is, ever since the more-distant Pluto was kicked off the planet list in 2006), why does it hold so much heat?
Neptune’s clumpy rings also confound scientists, as does its bizarre magnetic field, which emanates from a point off-set from the planet’s center.

we-are-star-stuff:

The greatest mysteries of the planets

Mercury

Mercury is notoriously difficult to study, thanks to its proximity to the scorching hot and blindingly bright sun. Thus, mysteries abound. For example, Mercury has a giant core - perhaps because its outer, lighter layers got brushed off by planetary collisions long ago, but scientists aren’t sure. It also has a magnetic field and an atmosphere, both of unknown origin. In fact, the little planet leaks a steady stream of atmospheric particles, suggesting its atmosphere is somehow constantly regenerated. The biggest boggler of all: Mercury’s highly elongated orbit is growing more oval-shaped all the time, and it could someday crash into Venus or the sun. Will its changing path (and resultant changing gravitational field) disrupt the orbits of Earth and the other inner planets, causing chaos?

Venus

Planetary scientists are still working out the details of how a once-earthlike Venus gradually morphed into the hellishly hot planet shrouded in a thick blanket of toxic gases we see today. But a bigger mystery regarding Earth’s “evil twin” is why the planet’s atmosphere swirls around it 60 times faster than the sphere spins itself; and speaking of Venus’ spin, no one knows why it goes counter-clockwise unlike all the other inner planets, such that the sun rises in the west and sets in the east.

The most intriguing open question of all: does Venus harbor life in its clouds? Some 30 miles up, there should be a habitable niche where pressure and temperature are earthlike. For energy, floating creatures resembling bacteria could thrive off the ample sunshine or chemicals in the atmosphere. 

Earth

You might think we’d have nailed down the major bullet points about our home planet’s structure and formation, but in fact, big zingers remain. We don’t know, for example, how all this water got here, and we’re uncertain about the nature of Earth’s core, which, strangely, transmits seismic waves faster in one direction than the other. Our beloved satellite has big bogglers, too. While most scientists think the moon formed from a chunk of Earth that got knocked off during an ancient impact, the theory has a hole: the theoretical impactor, dubbed Theia, should have left a residue with distinctive characteristics, but it has not been detected.

Mars

The Red Planet, now frigid, barren and seemingly deserted, spent its first 500 million or billion years as warm, wet and geologically dynamic. Scientists don’t know why it changed so drastically for the worse. They also wonder whether a more vibrant Mars once harbored life, and if it did, whether any bacteria-like Martian organisms managed to adapt to the harsher environs that took over, and are still eking out an existence there.

What’s more, scientists can’t fully explain the planet’s “hemispheric dichotomy.” Smooth, younger lightly cratered lowlands dominate the planet’s top half, while ancient, heavily cratered highlands characterize the southern hemisphere. As for how Mars’ two funky, lumpy moons got there, their size and shape suggests they originated as asteroids and were captured by the planet’s gravity; however, captured asteroids normally traverse elongated, oval orbits, while Phobos and Deimos follow circular paths around Mars.

Jupiter

Like a carefully dyed Easter egg, Jupiter is girded by lighter-hued bands called zones and darker bands called belts. But are these stripes merely surface features overlaying a uniform inner ball of gas, or are the zones and belts actually the tops of concentric cylinders that make up the planet? Whole stripes have been known to disappear without a trace; one vanished in May 2010 that was twice as wide as Earth; why? Other surface decors, such as the swirling vortex known as the Great Red Spot, are equally as mysterious: What power source drives their turbulent motion?

Furthermore, early in its history, this gas giant gobbled up great gobs of heavy elements, including more carbon, nitrogen and sulfur than are found in the sun. How did all that heavy stuff get in there, and is some of it compacted in a solid core deep below Jupiter’s surface? Scientists still don’t know, and are hoping to learn a thing or two when the Juno spacecraft flies past in 2016.

Saturn

For four centuries, astronomers have contemplated Saturn’s eye-popping rings, but none of their attempts to explain the beautiful features have ever seemed quite right. The rings could have formed from the icy remnants of a bygone moon, or from a passing comet torn to shreds by the planet’s gravity; they could be relatively young at just a few hundred million years old, or they might date back to the birth of Saturn more than four billion years ago. We just don’t know. We’re also yet to nail down the dynamics of giant storms and jet streams on the ringed planet’s surface, as well as the dynamics of its rotation. Three different spacecraft have attempted to measure the length of Saturn’s day by detecting its natural radio emissions as they soared past; all three have turned up different measurements.

Uranus

Planets are expected to radiate heat leftover inside them from their fiery formation process, but puzzlingly, Uranus radiates little or no heat into space. Perhaps the seventh planet’s heat got unleashed during some cosmic smash-up in the distant past. That collision could also have caused the planet’s strange sideways spin. Or maybe Uranus somehow self-insulates, keeping all its heat trapped inside.

Uranus also drags around with it the craggiest astronomical object known to man - a satellite called Miranda. This strange moon has deep canyons, scrapes, terraced layers and a cliff some 12.4 miles (20 kilometers) deep – the deepest in the solar system. Miranda’s geological mess may have formed from flowing ices in the moon’s interior, perhaps heated by gravitational squeezing from Uranus and other moons, oozing out onto the surface. Or, perhaps the moon was shattered several times and came back together, creating its jagged and mottled features.

Neptune

Astronomers had expected Neptune to be a weatherless, featureless world in deep freeze. Instead, Voyager 2’s flyby in 1989 - the only close look we’ve ever gotten of this 3-billion-mile-away planet - revealed a turbulent atmosphere with lighter cloud ripples and raging storms. Surprisingly, the fastest winds ever recorded in the solar system whirl on Neptune, up around 1,300 miles (about 2,100 kilometers) per hour. Driving this activity appears to be Neptune’s internal heat, but as the farthest planet from the sun (farthest, that is, ever since the more-distant Pluto was kicked off the planet list in 2006), why does it hold so much heat?

Neptune’s clumpy rings also confound scientists, as does its bizarre magnetic field, which emanates from a point off-set from the planet’s center.

(via hraeddur)

All these ‘I mean’s’ and ‘sort of’s’ and ‘you know’s’ are important because there are characters who find it difficult to lay their tongues on what they mean the first time, and I think this should be indicated.

Kingsley Amis (via theparisreview)